Thursday, March 06, 2014

Change? Good or Bad, Is It Even Possible?

"At 46, it's just too late to change your life." That's what the well-meaning voice in my head tells me. I have to admit, it's tempting to listen to the voice. A certain complacent surrender to my remaining years. Wistful regrets sipped like lukewarm whiskey from a chipped coffee mug, a dull comfort in the long night that is the Rest of My Life.

Except... the math doesn't really support it. I'm (obviously) 46 right now. Let's say I live to be 80. 34 years to go, more behind me than before me. Looks like the math is in the voice's favor. However, let's look a little more closely at those 46 years. The first 18 were spent in childhood. Any changes now can build from those years. They don't count against the remaining years (or, alternately, they count for them). Either way, 18-80 is a total of 72 years, with 34 to go that means I've lived 38 of those years. Still past the halfway mark, but not by much. OK, let's see if we can tip the balance. Undergraduate education. Important, true. But hardly definitive. Lots of people go directions nowhere near what they studied at college. If I can scratch those years, then 22-80 is 58 years, with 34 to go, that means I've lived 24 of them. Not even at the halfway point of my adult life. So... too late to change? Not even close.

Ah, but, dude, retirement is 65. 22-65 is 43 years, with only 19 remaining. Definitely past the halfway point. You're locked in, man. Listen to the voice. It's wisdom. I suppose it would be, if I were merely talking about career. But if I'm talking about something else, something more lifelong, something like... a calling, then I think I can consider it fair to use the 80 mark as the outer boundary. "A calling?" the voice asks, "when did that happen? Why wasn't I in the loop on this one? After all, I live in your head." Well, I never said that I had a calling. I never even said I was considering a change in my life. I merely went through the exercise of showing that even at 46, it's not too late, contra to the voice of conservative comfort in my head. "Well, if it's just an intellectual exercise, knock yourself out, kid. Just don't go getting any ideas, okay?" We'll see...