Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Seasons Greetings

Happy Oidhche Shamhna to all of you druids, shifters, bards, and whisky drinkin' gentle-folk!

Filking My Soul Away

So I went searching to expand my filk collection this weekend. Of the dozens of songs I downloaded, two struck me deeply: one broke my heart and the other stirred my blood. Michelle Dockrey's The Girl that's Never Been stopped me cold between heartbeats and left me both sad and relieved by the end. I wasn't expecting from the title that it would be drawn from my own favorite source for my personal mythology. The other song is about Loki, and for just a moment, as I listened, my soul experienced a moment of what must have been honest pagan faith (fortunately, it died quickly and the liberal rationalist worked out a semi-convincing explanation of why I really wasn't breaking the first commandment...)

Note - the link to Loki's song I've provided is not the version I first listened to. The version I listened to over at The Filk Archive is performed by Justin Eiler. This one is by the author of the song.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Retro Geek Treasure

Yesterday at a local used bookstore I found the following item at well below Internet price:



Yes, Morgan, it has Elric and Cthulhu!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Sneak Peek

From my forthcoming compilation The Pepto Bismol Hymnal:
Jehovah's melting bowels yearn
To clasp his Ephraim to his breast.
Note, these are actually the last two lines of an old 19th century hymn.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Much Ado About Nothing

Nothing much to say, more of a "hi... I'm still here, just ain't got much to blog 'bout" (on the other hand, my friend the Lonely Infidel has finally come out of semi-retirement with a bunch of thought-provoking stuff. Go and read, I'll wait ;-) Now, on to my drivel...

Bland is as bland does. Inane factoid: my five most used applications according to Windows XP are Notepad, 7-Zip File Manager, Adobe Reader 7.0, Filezilla, and Internet Explorer. I promise you that I use Firefox far more than IE and that I use the Voyager cataloging client far more than Filezilla. I have no clue how Windows tracks these things, but then again, I have no clue about most things.

We are a strange species. We are hardwired as social animals, but our minds can become suspicious, paranoid, jaded, misanthropic, etc. We want the companionship of others, but we have the ability to learn that such companionship can lead to great pain. We have levels of trust, levels of sharing, levels of acceptable risk, yet we want to have complete trust with at least (and maybe at most!) one other. But the reality is that our minds record the failures of others and play these videos back to us enough that we hold some cards perpetually close. We become, if not full-blown sociopaths, then at least stunted in our emotional development, because we're afraid. We let our fear get in the way of empathy (but not compassion, which is too often self-serving ego stroking, rather than genuine suffering with another. But again, this judgement may just be on me. Your ego may be less egocentric than mine.) I'm basically a nice guy (don't disillusion me here!), but there's this crappy place inside me that is stubborn in its demand for self-preservation, for saying "never again!" to feeling the pain that it thinks is all-crippling (yet, paradoxically, I'm still alive...)

On reflection, maybe it *is* just me (and a handful of other fledgling mental cases). The feeling that there is some piece burned out inside, that despite medication and counseling, it's just broken ("Sometimes a thing gets broke, can't be fixed." --Kaylee Frye) Dunno. It seems a human thing to me, but most of us feel "normal" in the sense that our reality is our norm. Which gets us off on a tangent: do you ever look at people and think to yourself, "Wow, those people are nothing like me at all: their values, thought-processes, way of life is almost completely different"? And yet, at other times, no single person is a stranger. They all seem like close family members whose names I can't quite remember, but who I nevertheless find myself fond of.

Well, enough carthatic crap for one post. I'll try to come up with something clever and fun next time (or else I'll just post a bunch of quotes from Kevin Smith movies ;-)

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Random Crunchy Bits

  • I've been playing Settlers of Catan with Rob most every Monday night since the semester started; it's a fun game of resource management.
  • I'm half-way through a most delightful novel called Special Topics in Calamity Physics, which is not at all about physics, but very much fun nevertheless (thanks, Lisa!)
  • I missed Superman Returns at the dollar theater, so now I wait for DVD.
  • I dropped Slack 11 from the notebook and am playing with Ubuntu (Slack is still on my desktop... so I still get to call myself a slacker, right? ;-)
  • Hamilton's Mythology is my current car book.
  • A quote just overheard from a conversation between two student workers in the next office: "Basically it was pulled out of his butt at the last minute."

Saturday, October 14, 2006

What the Teacher Might Have Said

Vanity of Vanities... all is bloody vanity. Whatever you believe, you should know that you're not 100% correct. Therefore, you are (in all likelihood, at least in part) wrong. If correct belief saves, then we are all damned. We are, at the very least, DNA, mixed during some kind of conception (whether passionate, passionless, or in a sterile machine), and propogating the information (genetic, social, mythical) until the meat machine wears out (or suffers some hideous accident.) Pleasure is a flash in the darkness, happiness a brief breeze in the harsh desert of the mind. Shopping helps, because it is, in a sad but real sense, a type of questing, a purpose (however shallow and fleeting.) But the acquisition of stuff is silly. The stuff itself rarely helps for long. Vanity. Nothing helps for long, because we are, in our own existence, utterly alone. Every quest, every joke, every song... eventually leaves us. All we know (all I know) is that there is something rather than nothing. This we ascribe to God, because all of our experience suggests that until something is {created, placed, formed, made, assembled, whatever} there is usually not that thing. Existence came from non-existence, at least, it is not non-existence. This we ascribe to God. God is the source of existence, which means God is beyond existent (trans-existent, or, in a logic-defying irony, non-existent? but still "real"... by this reckoning realer than anything that is real.) Words do not wrap around the grounding of being from non-being. Pagan gods came from already existence. They existed. God does not come from existence. We can create pagan gods, we cannot create a God beyond our sense of existence, beyond our "is", who is more real than reality as we know it (we cannot conceive of this properly.) We can only be awed that such a Being beyond being would make {him/her/it}self known to us. By clumsy words, by fingers pointing to the moon, by impossible to adequately describe experiences. Life is a snapping twig, its pleasures but for the moment, its brokenness enduring. Awe before the raw fact of existence, rather than non-existence, before the Source of that raw fact, who is known only through self-revelation, this must be the beginning of wisdom.

My apologies that this is neither coherent nor necessarily correct. Those looking for deep insight will be disappointed. Undoubtedly I'll deny writing this in the morning.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Friday the 13th... What Could Be Better?!?

Finished Lost Season 2. Very cool storytelling. Survivor meets X-Files, done as a soap opera. More twists and turns than the semi-regular DC comics reshuffling of their universes. Have no doubt that it'll end like a Shakespearean tragedy (or at the very least like Twin Peaks, a dark "How's Annie?" has to be forthcoming...)

The weather here is autumn cool, which is great! I have a stack of books to start reading this weekend, and I've got one more machine to upgrade to Slackware 11. My committment this time is use only 2.6 kernels (when running 10.2 I stayed with 2.4, consequently, my knowledge of udev and other 2.6 niceties is nil. Always a learning curve.) Amarok is a cool music player, though, so I may stay with KDE (ok, I'll play with GNOME when the dropline people get 2.16 out for 11!)

Have a Merry Weekend!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Mental Health Update

From the TMI Department:
Saw the shrink today (last scheduled visit was 8 months ago.) All is well. I'm still being medicated, but we won't have another visit for a year. He told me about the Vulture Festival held annually in Makanda, Illinois. I had no clue.

***

On other fronts, I'm crawling through Lost Season 2, reading Hamilton's Mythology, and avoiding theologically controversial topics in public forums :-)

Monday, October 09, 2006

The Argument from Inclusivism

Imagine for a moment that you were born and raised in a Muslim country (apologies if you're reading this and this is not a thought experiment for you. The majority of my regular readers were born and raised in Western Christian nations, and so this experiment is directed toward them.) So, you're a Muslim. All of the passion that you have now for Christ, you have for Allah. The joy you feel in singing hymns, you still feel, but they are Muslim hymns. You read the Koran and hear the very word of God. You are a Muslim, as is your family and loved ones. Maybe you have children, or nieces and nephews, or younger siblings. You love them, and, Allah be praised, they, too, are Muslim.

Statistically, it is unlikely that you would ever convert to Christianity (or Buddhism, or any other faith.) Most people believe what they were born into, at least culturally if not specifically what their own nuclear family believes (i.e., religious-minded Americans are likely to be some stripe of Christian.) So, you are a devout and happy Muslim, grateful to Allah that you were born into the true faith, saddened by the fact that so many around the world are not.

When you die, if evangelical Christians are right, you're going to hell. So is that son, or niece, or little sister.

How could a just and/or loving God send people to hell because of a geographical accident of birth? You may say that God isn't sending them to hell for being Muslims, but for being sinners. In the evangelical Christian take on things, everyone is going to hell because they're sinners, but God has foreordained to save those who believe in Jesus, which, for most people in the modern world, correlates very closely to accident of birth.

But, you may ask, what about missionaries? What about 'em? Can you really expect a devout Muslim in a Muslim country to take seriously a small Christian mission? How seriously do y'all take Hare Krishna?

The point is that as a native Muslim, you truly believe you know God, that you have heard His truth as revealed in His word. He hears your prayers, and sometimes answers them positively and sometimes answers them with the mystery of His silence. You are content in your faith and know in the depths of your heart that Allah is real.

If the God of Christians is real, and really created these souls (your soul, in the thought experiment) in a time and place where He knew they would not come to know Him through Jesus, how loving and just is He? Is it loving to stack the deck against some by placing them in Iraq, while bestowing the amazing grace on others of being born Southern Baptist in the Midwest of the US of A? Is it just to cosign these souls to eternal separation from God, when, to the best of their knowledge, they had a living and deep faith in Him all of their lives (even though they called Him Allah and did not accept Jesus as the savior)?

Christianity says, yes, it is loving and just of Yahweh to do just that. But try to remember, we're talking about your little brother, or your niece, or your baby girl, born Muslim, dying Muslim. Spending eternity in hell, not for telling God to sod off, but for being wrong.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Ponderable

"To know the things that are not, and cannot be, but have been imagined and believed, is the most curious chapter in the annals of man."

--William Godwin, Lives of the Necromancers

Just a Little Bit of Now

Sailing through day three of a stupid headache... found someone who's lending me Lost Season 2 (w00t!)... am currently reading (and thoroughly enjoying) two books by atheists extolling the virtues of their non-belief... loving this cool autumn weather... brought back my brother's comic book collection from the road trip last weekend, some small core of which was mine before college, but most of the collection is, or was, his. no worries, he's still alive, just passing the books along (now, what am I going to do with 'em?!?)... broke, tired, in pain, but overall in good spirits. Who'da thunk?

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Entropy and Evil

I learned today that renowned author and all around good guy John M. Ford has passed away. I never met Mr. Ford, but he was good friends with my literary hero Neil Gaiman. For the Treksters among us, you may remember his novels The Final Reflection and How Much for Just the Planet? Each star that falls dims the night sky that much more. Like the rest of you, I a-wait the dawn.

A few minutes ago I learned that a colleague at another school has left his position. I've only met him a couple of times at workshops that he has presented. He's a nationally recognized guru in a certain area of librarianship. He's also a kind and generous person who recently has lost his wife to cancer. I hope that wherever he ends up he will find peace and happiness.

Tonight marks the midpoint of this year's Strauss lectureship (an annual lectureship that brings well-known scholars to campus to lecture on various aspects of Christian worldview thinking). Dr. Paul Copan has been speaking about "Evil and the Cross of Christ." It's been interesting, but I don't envy anyone who has to speak about the problem of evil. I don't think I'll ever be able to answer the why questions that cry out from the broken human heart. I can sympathize and weep with you, but I'm as clueless as the next as to why things go the way they go. Might be why I'm in the library and not lecturing in the classroom (of course, as an homage to futility, I continue to beat my head against the brick wall of the questions; I really like psychological concussions!)

Death, life changes, the mysteries of suffering and hell. Is this what the human mind was created for? I hope not, and I have the laughter of my children, the jokes of friends, the beauty of nature to smile with. But my children also cry, and someday will cry and I will not be able to console them. My friends jokes will either turn cruel, or turn to tears, or just fade away. All of nature is double-edged: wind, water, earth, sun... they all are destroyers when they are not being agents of delight. I sit on the edge and am overwhelmed by the ravages of time, the inevitability of the abyss. All I can do is have faith, a faith I do not deserve, but one that was given to me nevertheless. God is funny, in exactly the kind of way an all-holy, transcendent being might be funny. But I am grateful, I may not even understand what I am grateful for, but I am grateful for it anyway (yeah, I may not be making much sense right now, but I suspect there's something true here.) My hopes are with each of you, as you make your way through the happy days and dark nights, that you will become increasingly aware of the gifts you have to be grateful for, even the ones you're only vaguely aware of...

Slackware 11.0

It's finally out!!!


Ours goes to eleven!

Monday, October 02, 2006

My List of Essential (Free) Software for Windows

When I set up a Windows machine, I always install certain programs. You probably do, too.

OpenOffice.org - a free alternative to Microsoft Office, comes with a spreadsheet, word processor, presentation program, database, and more. You may want to install the Java runtime environment in order to have 100% functionality. OpenOffice.org will read and save in Microsoft formats.

Firefox - if you're reading this blog with Internet Explorer, consider Firefox. Internet Explorer 7 actually looks pretty cool, but Firefox is my browser of choice. I like tab browsing, cool extensions, and the logo is much cooler than a big blue "e"

Thunderbird - my email program, brought to you by the fine folk at Mozilla (makers of Firefox)

EditPad Lite - I need to edit text files. You may not. If you do, ditch Notepad and grab EditPad Lite. Most of my blog entries are written in EditPad Lite before I post them.

Adobe Acrobat Reader - an increasingly larger number of documents I find myself reading are PDFs. I've used other PDF readers, but Adobe's is still the best for my money.

7-Zip - a much better compression program than the one that came with Windows. It also supports a much wider range of formats.

Python - a programming language. No, I don't know python, but I'm old enough to remember when PCs all came with a programming language (some dialect of BASIC). Python seems like an appropriate replacement, and it's a constant reminder that I need to play with (er, learn) it.

Dosbox - a very nice MS-DOS emulator, because I haven't quite finished all of my old DOS games yet...

Nethack - before there were graphics, there were rogue-like games (um, called such because they all descended from a common ancestor, an ancient game called... Rogue). Nethack is a rogue-like game with a graphical tileset (that means pictures of things instead of textual representation. You'll like the game better with graphics :-) It's more complex than it seems at first glance, a more elegant game for a more civilized age. Oh, it's a dungeon crawl (if you're wondering what, exactly "nethack" is about.)


Frotz
- a program for playing old Infocom-like text adventures, such as Zork, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and Leather Goddesses of Phobos. A number of recent titles have been produced by a small, dedicated community of text adventure fans (although the current term is "interactive fiction" rather than "text adventure.")

So, what do you always install on your machines? (and, for the rabidly curious, yes, I also put all of this stuff on my Linux machines ;-)

Weekend Update

I had the joy of representing the library at a book sale this weekend. A minister from Southern Illinois was selling some 4,000 books (he's moving into a smaller house, and something had to go! Not to worry, he's still keeping at least as much as he sold.) It was a lot of fun, and I had the privilege of helping unload the truck and set up. I was able to pick up a few things the library might need (and, yes, I did some personal shopping... the phrase "conflict of interest" just isn't part of my vocabulary ;-) I also ran into an old friend from high school (who says to tell Morgan "hi!")

I made a weekend out of it by driving the extra little bit of distance to stay with one of my sisters. I saw three siblings (and their various spouses and children), so that was cool. I like my siblings a whole lot (even though I tend to leave early, but that's just me: if there's a road ahead, I'm itching to get on it...)

I wasted $2 on renting Lost Season 2 Disc 1. I say wasted, because it seems that I've seen some of season 2 already. Apparently JDC recorded a few episodes of season 2 and passed them my way. Now I've got to figure out whether I've already seen all of disc 2 or not. Knowing what's coming ruins a lot of the experience of the show (translated, it has a very low rewatch factor in my book; I can't imagine buying it on DVD!)

Well, the work day's a-startin'! Later...