Sunday, June 03, 2007

Checking the Calendar of Saints

June 3, The Feast Day of Saint Morgan Adanon of Tashkent,
Patron saint of high-level gamers, spider slayers, and drinkers of rum

Happy St. Morgan's Day to y'all!

This is the day traditionally ascribed to the birth of that near legendary figure, Morgan Adanon, Duke of Tashkent. While the tales of Morgan's deeds as an adventurer par excellance are well-known to every man, woman, and child in the Nine Realms, the circumstances leading to his canonization are less known. In fact, many school children to this day do not associate Duke Adanon of the Ebon Blade with St. Morgan the Drow-Killer.

It happened in this way.

As popular legend records it, Duke Adanon was slain in battle against the foul Dark Wizard Rhoghar Pyepr and his horde of mindless automatons. His body was ransomed to his family for an obscene amount of gold, but so great was the love of his people for the fallen duke that no price was too great. For seven weeks the people of Tashkent mourned him, for seven weeks his body lay in estate, held fast from decay by the workings of the duke's dear friend, the kender necromancer Quinn Reddghost. In time, he was buried and the world continued without its great champion, master of the Ebon Blade and spinner of song and spell.

In the spring, the combined forces of the Eastern Regents marched on Rhoghar's tower. The wizard sent out his automatons, but this time he was in for a rude surprise. A contingent of druids from the unallied Far Wildermost accompanied the armies of the Regents. Torrential rains and ginormous water elementals rendered the wizard's machines less than functional.

The following morning, the armies entered the wizard's now undefended tower. Expecting some resistance, Lord Kyle was perplexed that no magical traps, summoned demons, or other magics slowed their progress up to the tower's top, to Rhoghar's chamber. Upon entering the room, the party found the wizard dead, his throat sliced, a broken bottle of Captain Morgan's Dark Rum on the floor. Pardoo, Lord Kyle's confessor, was with that first group to find the wizard. He reports that the entire area was tinged with divine magic, and that the apparent suicide was the work of a god. The only question was, which one?

[Editor's note: this is all patently absurd. The implication that Morgan came back from the dead as some kind of lesser deity/saint-like entity is nonsense. The man is obviously not dead, even if he blogs less frequently than I. Nevertheless, I had to wish him a happy birthday somehow, and I, uh, forgot to get a card. Happy birthday, comrade Morgan!]

10 comments:

Dying Dodo said...

Happy Birthday Morgan as well.

Morgan2112 said...

Thank you, one and all...

I must say, that may be the most unique of birthday greetings I have ever had, Slacker...

Of course, as you said, is is all nonsense... As there is no such thing as a kender necromancer!! :)

Anonymous said...

I tried to make sure that Morgan had a great birthday. It was nice spending it in a nice quiet way.

LittlestPenguin said...

But a Kinder necromancer makes so much SENSE. "I'm going to borrow your life force for just a bit, ok? What do you mean I forgot to give the last guy's back?! Oooh, look, SHINY!"

Mike said...

Thanks, Penguin! Morgan has a completely irrational loathing of kender and drow. I think he may have been trapped in a jail cell in the Underdark with a kender as a child. I'll need to look into this...

Morgan2112 said...

Slacker... If some blasted Kinder hadn't just happened to "find" the key to the locked (for a good reason) door down into the Catacombs of the Drow, then used said key because it sounded exciting to go meet a race that worships a big ugly spider, and in the rush to accomplish this goal left the door unlocked affording the Drow an easy opportunity… I doubt that I would have such loathing for both races…

Morgan2112 said...

Kender that is... I don't know why I keep tying 'i' unless I keep thinging Kindred. Huh... Now wouldn't that be interesting... A Kender of the Clan Brujah??

Mike said...

How 'bout a kender Toredor: a tragically goth kender?!?

LittlestPenguin said...

Aah, then I probably shouldn't tell you about my Drow cleric of Tyr anytime soon?

Morgan2112 said...

Drow clerics..... Kenders..... I think I need a change of planes...