overheard in the computer lab

writing code again, i see
* no, not really
looks like code
* it's actually a spell, but i think better in pseudo-code
your pseudo-code looks like basic
* child of the eighties, i still think in basic
you're messed up, man
* /grin/
a spell?
* yeah
what kind?
* the kind that finds lost things
you've lost something?!?
* /silence/
seriously, you never lose anything
* yeah, well...
so, what'd you lose?
* /more silence/
oh, c'mon. can't be that bad.
* /glares/
fine.
/pause/
i could help, you know
* you don't know jack about magic
ok, but i could help you look, if you'd tell me what we're looking for
* you can't help. no one can help, but me
wow... narcissistic and depressed: nice
* /sighs/
* if i tell you, will you shut up and let me work?
you bet
* /awkward/ it's my soul, ok? i lost my soul
whoa, that totally sucks

a bit early, but still hopeful

twilight falls
on winter's stage,
tomorrow's dawn:
spring's first blush;
fresh dew falls
on icy page,
the cub, the fawn:
life's new rush

pigpen's lament

they say that i must wash my hands;
why is it no one understands?
i love the feel:
the grit,
the grime.
being dirty,
it is no crime.
my hair's unkempt,
an Einstein mess,
no real contempt,
just won't impress:
wrinkled clothes,
and scuffed up shoes;
keep your pose,
for this i choose.

What is Life?

From Wendell Berry's Life is a Miracle:

To experience [life] is not to "figure it out" or even to understand it, but to suffer it and rejoice in it as it is. In suffering it and rejoicing in it as it is, we know that we do not and cannot understand it completely. We know, moreover, that we do not wish to have it appropriated by somebody's claim to have understood it. Though we have life, it is beyond us. We do not know how we have it, or why. We do not know what is going to happen to it, or to us. It is not predictable; though we can destroy it, we cannot make it. It cannot, except by reduction and the grave risk of damage, be controlled. It is, as Blake said, holy.

Holiday Report

Solstice was too darn cold for sky-clad rituals, so we dug out the old gray woolen robes (again!) Kwanzaa celebrated by a clan of Irish-American leprechauns is just plain silly (trust me, we tried it one year). Hanukkah was really nice, until I accidentally knocked the menorah over, burning our synagogue to the ground. As far as Festivus went, it's better not to discuss. What happens on Festivus, and all that.

Which leaves Christmas...

Christmas was nice. I had the kids from the 22nd through the morning of the 31st. It was mostly a time of relaxing, laughing, playing, and just enjoying the moments. We went down to visit friends and family a couple of days after Christmas. I didn't get a chance to see everyone I wanted to see, unfortunately, but I suppose that gives me a reason to look forward to the next visit.

Reading? Well, over the holiday, mostly beach reading. Hopefully I'll step up to something more substantial before spring. Currently I'm reading A. Lee Martinez's In the Company of Ogres, as usual, I like my {fantasy|science fiction|horror|whatever genre} served up with a healthy side of humor.

Visual media: I finished watching Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda. It was fun, although the last two seasons were not as strong as the first three. Qualitywise, I'd place it somewhere between Babylon 5 and Firefly (the latter being my all-time favorite science fiction television series). Contentwise, it's in a league of its own: mythology cloaked in intergalactic space opera. I've also been seduced to the Dark Side: I've watched all three Jeff Dunham DVD performances and laughed hysterically at all three.

Well, that's all the news that fit to post. Hopefully more sooner rather than later...

Geeky Goodness

Slack 12.2 is out... time to recompile all of my extra software (package management? who needs package management when you have source code?!?)

And I recently discovered an ubuntu-derived distro I (sorta) like: crunchbang linux. Based on the openbox window manager, it is zippier than even xubuntu. If you like debian-type goodness, but want something a bit leaner (and less brown) than ubuntu, give crunchbang a whirl.

I think 2009 may be the year I try to avoid Windows outside of work. It probably won't be, since Windows handles video a lot more smoothly on my old hardware than Linux does, but, we'll see. It would be nice to stop being a hypocrite (I mean, pragmatist) and live out some ideals for a change...

I've got a bazillion documents in PDF that I need to read (who knew that there were so many free textbooks online?) Too bad my phone and pda screens are too small and my desktop too non-portable. A tablet PC would probably be perfect, but alas, too pricey. My clunky laptop will have to serve as my semi-portable PDF reader, unless any of you know of an ultra portable device for reading PDF files without needing new glasses (i.e. like the electron microscope my pda would require).

Hope all is well in your respective corners of Real Life. Two weeks until the Blessed Day (wait, shouldn't I start shopping some time soonish?)

Waking Up When the Buzz Is Gone

An article on the end of the current tech buzz (bloggers, this means us!)

About time, now can I please get back to narcissistic ramblings that even my own mother would find boring?

I'll Square Your Circle

On this date in 1679, philosopher Thomas Hobbes died, thus ending his 25 year feud with John Wallis over Hobbes's attempt to square the circle in 1655. It began when Hobbes called Wallis's Arithmetica Infinitorum a "scab of symbols."

--source, The MAA Mathematics Digital Library

Speedy Delivery

More updates from the news room of my life...

• Father Andrew Greeley's condition has improved after his freak accident last month. Greels is my (and several thousand, if not million, others') priest. I may not officially be Roman Catholic, but the likes of Greeley, G.K. Chesterton, and Peter Kreeft make me feel like I should be a closet Catholic.
  
• Slackware 12.2 is imminent!
• If you've never done it, let me assure you, grading papers is less fun than you'd think (and the final drafts are coming in next week...)
  
• An old friend found me on Facebook, which is way cool. Social networking site pays off, twitter update at 11.
• Thanksgiving in Lawrenceville with my kids and siblings was nice. Family is good.
• I avoided shopping on Black Friday (shout out to the radicals at Adbusters for encouraging Buy Nothing Day).
• Jonathan Coulton's Christmas song Chiron Beta Prime (from his Thing a Week experiment) has me in Exceedingly Good Spirits this morning.
• The annual Christmas sale at the Lincoln Christian College and Seminary bookstore is in full swing: 45% off books, as well as savings on supplies, clothing, and cards (i.e. things Slacker doesn't remember to buy).
  
• I've found the coolest design at cafepress.com that resounds with my personal mythology. What can't you find at cafepress.com?!?
• Lastly, despair.com has a limited run Christmas shirt.

Well, that's all the news of madness and mundania for the moment (and for those keeping score at home, a boring post is still a post ;-)

Mundane Life Update Stuff

Too long with too little said. I missed commenting on the election wackiness. I missed commenting on the ramp up for the release of Kevin Smith's new film Zack and Miri Make a Porno (which deserved to be commented on, regardless of whether it deserves to be seen). I missed blogging my kids' birthdays. I way big time missed my commitment to blog regularly. I missed blogging the loss of author Michael Crichton.

Real life has been busy. I guess. I don't know. Anyway... this is a stupid and pointless post. I'm going ahead and posting it on the Something is better than Nothing school of blogging, but, sheesh! Go read Wikipedia or something.

A Whiff of Prologue

"You do it. I hate exorcisms," he said.

I opened my mouth to protest, but he raised a pudgy hand to stop me. "This is not a discussion. You're my associate, I hate exorcisms, you're going to do it."

I waited a moment. "But shouldn't there be at least two priests present at an exorcism?" A week on the job, I was not about to do this alone.

Father Alphonzo De Sotta chuckled. It was an ugly little chuckle, not the only aspect of my boss that I had decided was ugly. "Sure, if this were a movie you might have a team of priests and psychiatrists and maybe even some Special Forces types, just in case. But this is little ol' Kirksdale, and the nearest shrink is, what, 100 miles away? Besides, I've handled plenty of these cases alone. You'll be fine."

The Church's procedures on exorcism were clear: no solo missions. This assignment was wrong, but more disturbing, "Define 'plenty.'"

Father Al smiled. The smile itself chilled me "from soul to socks" as my granny use to say. He stood up and crossed over to the filing cabinet, opened the top drawer, and pulled out a folder held together with large rubber bands. It was easily five or six inches thick. He tossed it on the desk and went back to smiling at me.

I glanced from the folder to my boss. "You've got to be kidding? This town only has a population of two thousand people. And you told me you've been here for almost twenty years. There must be hundreds of cases in that file."

He nodded, still smiling. "And now they're all yours. Welcome to Kirksdale, ass-end of the Midwest and pre-school for Hell's rugrats."

Joy

I wanted to look something up online today, which meant a trip out to the office. I decided to walk (undoubtedly influenced by my current reading of Divorce Your Car by Katie Alvord). I live about 2 miles from where I work, and it took me about half an hour to get here. Yes, this is longer than the drive out would have been. I also have sweat a bit more. But...

• I watched a butterfly fly past
• I talked to an old lady sitting out in front of her house on a lawn chair (I don't know her, but does that really matter?)
• I smelled autumn leaves
• I heard said leaves crunch beneath my feet
• I felt the breeze blow through my hair
• I saw the heavy clouds looming overhead (40% chance of scattered thunderstorms today)
• I smelled burning wood (like someone was grilling with wood chips maybe?)
• I experienced that mild excitement I get every time I step across a set of railroad tracks: the feeling of coming in contact with something larger than myself (is it weird that train tracks and beaches give me similar feelings?)
• I noticed trees and dogs and children and the temperature
• I saw a car antenna lying at the side of the road by a busy intersection
• I run the distinct risk of getting caught in the rain. A situation that was so commonplace in childhood that it was barely considered, but as a grown up it seems to be a Thing To Be Avoided At All Costs.
• I was blessed, no, I am blessed by just this simple act of living

I doubt I divorce my car. My kids live too far away for that, and, besides, I like internal combustion: the sounds and smells and the feel of moving down the road. I really do like it. I also really like chocolate, but if chocolate was as central to my diet as solo automobile travel is central to my transportation then I would be in very bad shape. Maybe my car is like my sweet tooth. Then again, maybe not. Regardless, today's walk has brought nothing but joy so far, and I am grateful.

Anathem

Neal Stephenson's newest novel is scheduled to be released today (and alas, I do not have a spare $30 burning a hole in my pocket!) Nevertheless, public libraries are a good thing, so I'll be getting on the list ASAP.

Anathem is a 960 page epic about a religious order of mathematicians, scientists, and philosophers who have been living behind cloister walls. It's set in the future, on another planet, and if it's anything like everything else Neal has written, it promises to be the best read of the year. The Amazon page has an excerpt and some video of Neal talking about the book and reading from it.

What to Do When You Have No Clue What to Blog About?!?

Try http://words.bighugelabs.com/blog.php

This suggests possible blog topics. Since I've been so slack about this blogging thing for so long, this just may be the kick in the pants I need. Of course the temptation to click, "Get some more" and thus waste time merely reading blog ideas is pretty strong (hello, slackers anonymous, I need a new life!)

Dr. Horrible

Run, do not walk to http://drhorrible.com and watch Joss Whedon's web-based series about an aspiring super-villain (played by Neil Patrick Harris), his nemesis Captain Hammer (Nathan Fillian), and the girl at the laundry mat he's trying to get up the nerve to talk to (Felicia Day). Oh, and it's a musical. What are you doing still reading this?

Graduation, Blink, School Starts

The days of summer disappeared like Wiis at Wal-mart. I really thought there would actually be a summer, but, as always, my powers of prognostication underwhelm me. So, here I sit, facing the start of the school year, almost certain that it was just May a few days ago. I have some vague memories of June and July, but they seem more like the echoes of a dream: mostly pleasant with some vaguely remembered awkward bits.

The beginning of another school year is always an exciting time, because I really do prefer the campus full of students: it has an essential rightness about it. And beyond their collective presence, I find myself altogether too fond of the individual students I meet. Another God-created life, another story of joy and love, of pain and struggles. Another testimony to grace, even when the person doesn't see it him- or herself. No one is an island, not even hermit-wannabes like me. I am blessed by the students who are led to sojourn on our campus. I am grateful that some students still share their stories and grace with me via this crazy Internet thing. Much thanks to friends old and new!

New [School] Year's resolution: post at least once a week. Sadly, that would be a major improvement over my recent history. I can't guarantee the quality will improve, but quantity has to be worth something.

However... next week I won't be posting. I won't be exactly near the Internet, so let's just start this "once a week" business the first week of September. Sounds like a plan? Anyway, I hope some of you find your way back here (although, yeah, I'll write even if no one reads).

New Slackware Logo!

My favorite Linux distro has a new logo, readable whether you're upright or upside down:

Shadows on My Own Personal Apocalypse

Sorry about the "long time, no write phenom." Summer got busy and then disappeared. Anyway, just one comment to record for my own journal (I suspect my readers have long since sought other places to waste their time).

Today my ex-wife is getting married.

Kung Fu Panda - Gateway to Heresy?

Cute movie, but inherently anti-religious (well, anti most religions, as well as all occult practices).

The kids wanted to see it, so we went. It was fun. We laughed a lot (and my son and I once again annoyed my daughter by insisting we stay through the credits).

***Spoilers***

There is no secret ingredient. There is no secret on the scroll. There is no secret to life. No news (good or otherwise) that you need to hear to make sense of life. As Faith Hill sings, "The secret of life is that there ain't no secret."

But (most) religions would disagree. There is a secret, in the sense that there is something you need to know in order for you to understand What's Really Going On. Christianity says that something is the good news of Jesus Christ. Christians try really, really hard to share the secret (compared to occult groups who save the secret for an inner circle of initiates). Pop psychology is an industry based on people believing that there is some secret, some simple (or not so simple) thing that if they just knew, they'd be ok.

Kung Fu Panda teaches us that there is no secret. Life just is, and you live it. In some sense, it's the message of the Zen masters and the existentialists. In this view of things there is neither hope nor despair, there is just what is. Knowing that God created us, loves us despite our sins, has died to save us, and has prepared an eternal home for us with Him... that's the kind of stuff that would need to be revealed, maybe written on a scroll. But the scroll is blank, worse, it is vaguely reflective. All the revelation you get is yourself.

Fortunately, my kids didn't take that away from the movie at all. For them, it was just a light-hearted diversion on a too-warm summer's day. And so, we have a lot of fun joking about anything I cook. "So, did you like the secret ingredient?" "Dad, there is no secret ingredient!" "Oh yeah..."

But I can't help but wonder if subtle messages like this are seeds cast into the soil of the young, and one day they will bear fruit.

PS - Shout out to my brother whose birthday is today! Happy Day!

Blogging Is Dead

Well, if *my* blog is indication (which, let's face it, it isn't). You know how life swallows you up in busyness and you don't quite get around to doing all the things that you keep telling yourself you want to be doing? That would be my life at the moment. Can't actually explain it, since I can't think of a single thing I've been doing, but... there you have it.

Anyway, no deep thoughts, nor even too much minutiae to report (movies: I've seen Iron Man, but none of the other May blockbusters yet).

I know I'm tired and old. I think it's time for a mid-life crisis, but honestly, I don't have the time, energy, or money for one of those. Can I have a mid-life nap instead?

Oh, and happy birthday to my sister Amy and to our former blogger-in-arms Morgan!