panic

the pounding of my heart
is strangling me.
harder to breathe,
to think,
to see and hear and touch...
each beat
and my head goes
blank,
i feel nothing but panic:
ice cold
and sweating.
i swallow a lungful of air,
and then...
another heartbeat.

i want to run,
to scream,
to explode,
to hide,
to faint,
(my hands won't stop shaking)
everything seems
a million miles away:
the sounds,
the sights,
every thing is fleeing,
everything except the fear:
i feel it
with every nerve,
all too close,
possession,
the demon of adrenaline
has me body, mind, and soul;
i smell its
overpowering stench,
my stomach is twisted and tight,
like my fists,
white-knuckled and clenched
(when they open, they keep shaking)
i cry,
breathing in sobbing gasps,
and then...
another... damned... heartbeat